Hey, Dudes! Advice for life from an old dad, No 1--Don't be a dick.

Hey, Dudes! As I embark on this journey of directly communicating with you through this blog, I’m grappling with the essence of honesty. How transparent should I be? Can I dare to expose my imperfections, those not cushioned by humor or light-heartedness? Despite my efforts to conceal them, you’ll likely see that my flaws are a substantial part of me, providing more than enough unflattering material to define me if I let them. This journey into uncharted honesty is daunting, yet it feels crucial.

In this pursuit of openness, I'll start with a small confession: I often worry about how much time I have left to know you both. My father passed away when he was 53, just as my youngest sister turned 16. I'm now older than he was at his passing, and you aren’t even here yet. It's a race against time for me, and if I'm blessed with longevity, I hope you'll be reading this on your own, while I’m still sharp enough to discuss it with you. If that day comes, remind me to cherish it as much as I yearn for it now.

You are arriving into a family rich with love and also, admittedly, a history of parenting blunders. Your brother and sister were the first to experience our trials and errors. Having the chance to raise you both feels like a precious opportunity for redemption, yet it also carries the weight of potential repeated mistakes. My aim is to show that I’m worthy of this second chance. Just today, I found myself contemplating my parenting goals anew. My aspiration is simple yet profound: I hope you both learn to trust and heed that quiet, inner voice. Admittedly, I’m still mastering this art myself—perhaps we can journey through this learning together. Maybe, in your youthful wisdom, you will be the ones to guide me.

I’m eager to pass on the lessons I've learned, often through the most convoluted and challenging paths—my specialty. You will undoubtedly forge your own paths and make your own mistakes, and while you might disregard my advice, I hope you'll at least ponder it. Let it accumulate and become part of the inner voice you consult in times of uncertainty.

Life offers a plethora of instruction manuals, and by the end of our time together, I’ll have borrowed insights from many. Remember, you are the legacy of millennia of human error and learning—try not to reinvent the wheel too frequently, though I know you will sometimes, just like I did.

Now, let's dive in! I worried about starting off on a seemingly negative note. However, I wouldn't be true to myself if I pretended to only harbor positive thoughts. At some point, we'll explore the positive flip side of this, but general advice like 'be nice' or 'follow the golden rule' never resonated much with me. Instead, consider this straightforward guideline:

Don’t be a dick!

Recently, your sister Alexa and I were at Caribou Coffee when she spotted a chalkboard asking for good advice. Without hesitation, she wrote, ‘Don’t be a dick!’ explaining simply, ‘If there is nothing else that you can do, at least don’t be a dick. No one needs someone acting like a dick, so just don’t do it.’ That moment reaffirmed how much she has absorbed these lessons—she’s a wise one, and you’re lucky to have her.

In that instant, I knew we had to compile the greatest wisdom the universe can offer for you both. If there’s only one thing you manage to do, let it be this: channel all your energy into not being a dick. It's usually pretty clear when you’re slipping. And don’t worry, your brother and sister have already volunteered to help keep you in check!

With all my love.

These are real patches! Click the patch to get yours. No endorsement, it's just where I borrowed the image from, but I want one!